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S.O.S. (Miami)
S.O.S. Miami

Oct 10th, 2011
Miami Vice  (Miami)
Miami Vice

Oct 7th, 2011

Miami! I Would Lose My Mind, I Would Never Be The Same ... Without YOU!

Why oh why does it ever have to end ... Better yet! Why can't it be longer???!!! I think Miami Carnival should be more than five (5) days! We need a petition!! We need a riot!! We need a huge gathering of people pumping and promoting Miami Carnival .... Ten Days ... The first friday of October to the following Sunday ... Any takers?

Anyhow, so on to the real thing ... This is what we like to call the rules of the road from (your Carnival connoisseur) with respect to Miami Carnival with a spin from the Scornful one:

ARRIVING DAY: Always book your flight for the week of Miami Carnival ... Wednesday To Tuesday ... Seven Days of Bliss ... you will need the extra day or two to relax, catch up with old friends, go out with new friends, or just go on the beach and listen to your own thoughts and possibly create lists in your head of things you need to do! Miami International Airport of Fort Lauderdale Airport is the way to go ... or you could drive from which ever state you are coming from.

WHERE TO STAY: We at the Juice Headquarters strongly suggest you stay close to South Beach or Downtown Miami (Biscayne Boulevard) ... basically ... think about it this way .... South Beach is the centre ... draw a 15 minute drive in ANY direction from South Beach ... and YOU SAFE!!! The drives back from partying hard in Miami are killers!!! Especially the way these bartenders serve drinks!

THE LIST OF PARTIES ... YOU CHOOSE: So with six (6) days of partying (Wednesday to Monday) you have a variety of events to attend and spend your hard earned money! The list day by day is as follows:

Its the first set of fetes so dead of alive you must attend either Socavivor Ultra - Welcome Pink Party and the ever beloved Bacchanal Wednesday. Two events which have definitely cemented their places in the Miami Carnival Weekend Calender.

Now with events finishing sometimes 5:00 AM, you wake up Thursday semi-haunted and with that, have lunch at the beach or just breeze out in your bed, some might recover from jet lag and then you definitely have to get ready and bring out your Carnival Jumbie for either Girl Power Miami, Socavivor Ultra - The New Yorkers or TRIBE Ignite Miami.

Now it is TJJ's tradition that we must leave the events on Thursday last ... so leaving TRIBE Ignite last and "networking" outside the event we are heading only one place for breakfast (I-Hop) and then we going to get on bad bad bad in the hot sun at Socavivor Ultra - Rise Miami Meets Shine NYC (do not forget your shades, hat and preferably in YELLOW!!!) This year being held on a beach. Sell Off! After lashing waistline and drinking shots on the beach, some needed sleep, then you have your choice again of parties from Black & White 'The Miami Carnival Edition'; Block-O-Mania, Miami Vice & Super F.R.I.E.N.D.S. .... sometimes we get a headache choosing where to go! Luckily the TJJ Miami 2011 Regiment was thick and deep and we covered as much as we can ... despite the thunderous and lightning rain showers!!

Are you tired yet? No No No!! Wake Up! Palancing Starts Early! Palancing Starts Early!!! Palancing Starts Early!!!! Early!!! Early!!! Early!!! Whyte Angel's brings the Ultimate J'ouvert Experience to Miami kicking off at 9AM (we're happy to see a jouvert being introduced to Miami Carnival ... and recommend making jouvert an official event on the Miami-Broward ONE Carnival calendar and having serveral jouvert bands on the road). And then you have the infamous Red Eye Breakfast Party ... not one but two (yes, it split again) ... running pretty much all day (9AM-9PM). Wait.... Boat Rides leaving at 1:00 PM .... Four Hours or Five Hours OR sleep needed for some .... How many different boat rides were there??... Make your pick people ... we endorse both FREnZY Miami - Boat Cruise and Luxe Life :: Yacht Party.

Saturday evening is where it becomes sticky ... DAY FETES for DAYSSSS!! Do you go to D'Ultimate All Inclusive Miami Day Fete or do you go to Bacchnal In De Park or Prime 'Exlusive Ultra Inclusive Day Fete' (both new comers on the Miami Carnival Fete List)! Where oh where do WE GO ... shall we follow the yellow brick road to Scorch & LIME ... or let us use the Stargate Portal and attend Hysteria 'Ultra Elite All Inclusive'? And for the carnival jumbies going the full mile, what's on the menu for Saturday night? The blue pill takes you to Vale Vibe Miami or you could choose the red pill and attend RAVE - Real Artist Vibe Experience. And for the real soca lovers, International Soca Fest is a no brainer. Carnival Saturday is definitely about variety ... so choose carefully!

Its the last day of the Bliss (well before all the Monday cool down parties) .... the final straw to break the camel's back ... you are out on the road to dance, drink and socialise your problems away! It's the last time for the year you are getting to take Advantage of some Pitch! Same route from last year - we ending up in Sun Life Stadium - This year however, they made the route one big circle around the Stadium - much much much much better than last year when it was one long route leading to the stadium. Loads of bands to choose from ... likes of Generation X, Mascots Int'l, Carnival Nationz Miami, Natural Freaks & Ascensions just to name a few of the bands with the vibes and euphoria!

What do you do in the night? After a whole day of taking advantage of the road and all people you could ... what do you do ?!?!!? A couple of events come to mind such as I Love Soca 'Miami Edition @ Mango's; Soca On South Beach 'Miami Last Lap' @ Clevelander; Socavivor Ultra - Jabba Strikes Back Miami @ Bongos; new entry Miami Carnival Las Lap @ Cafe Iguana (closest to actual carnival parade/concert) and one of well known ones ... Eden (back in the mix this year).

And that's that .... as always...


          • Always have a car, Rent one, Stay With People Who Have one - travelling and taxi is not the way to go .... this also means ... designate a driver!
          • Always have one sober crew member ... One crew member will always get drunk and needs to be escorted outside;
          • Please wear Sun Block .... Miami Is Hot!!!!!
          • Do wear a belt on the road ... your short pants will fall down with all the debauchery taking place!
          • Hold on to a prop ... you are guaranteed a woman will jump on you and wine ... (or maybe that is just me)


          • Do not take a phone number down incorrectly! You were given it for a reason!
          • Do not leave the house on an empty stomach .... Miami's bartenders hands are heavy!
          • Do not make bets you are not sure about!
          • Do not rent a Ford Expedition ... Although it is Sexy ... It is a Gas Guzzler!
          • Do not wine on only one person and then STAY on that one person in any party if you are not single ... Wine On All That You Can ... Share The Love ... That way you would not get in trouble for staying one spot!!!!!

Miami-Broward ONE Carnival 2011

Without Fail ... I Will Never Miss Miami Carnival ... If You Did ... Maybe Try Coming next year ... but first stop? Trinidad Carnival 2012!

"Take Me By The Tongue And I Will Know You, Kiss Me 'Til You're Drunk And I Will Show You"
Amiel aka Scorn Juice

and The 2011 TJJ Miami Carnival Team
Original Lime Flavor, Daddy Juice, Frenchie, Joy Juice, Apple Juice, Cubanita Juice, The Appraiser, P.S.I, Party McFly, Roopie, Warren, Supah Grova, Coop and Popots Barbie Juice

Scorn's Miami Carnival 2011 Disclaimer: The Surgeon General advises that partying with and attending Carnivals that Professional and Experienced TJJ Fet-a-lot-athon® Party Gurus are present, have been proven to be disastrous to ones health. If you do come across any TJJ Party Gurus please be advised that we are just not professionals ... We Live Carnivals! We Love Carnivals! We Feel Carnivals! Furthermore, these pictures are meant for enjoyment and promotional purposes only! Any resemblances to real people, living or dead is purely coincidental! Please do not view these pictures while operating heavy machinery! Finally, after going through these splendid images we at TJJ are not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform!

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