Dear Dr. Ram Dass,

My boyfriend doesn’t want me to wear a thong for Carnival. Should I anyways?

Miss Long Circular Gym


Dear Miss Long Circular Gym,

I’d like you to consider all de bo bo’s that your man is trying to prevent after you get wine till you fall on your tushie on de not so smooth roads of downtown POS or de ant bites incurred when you decide to cross your legs and relax in de park for lunch. It is possible dat he trying to save de life of de man whose childlike impulse and innocence causes him to catch 2 flask tuh pan cause dat man grab your bumper like it was de last door of many doors to de bathroom.

I am personally a fan of gym buffs exposing their property in the colorful streets of T&T, so what I propose is that you consider the worst thing that that you tell him he cyah do and put the deal on the table. Remember, there is no jealousy… only insecurity and of course horning…

PS. Continue to wear your tights in the gym.