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I am having trouble trying to sleep ... should I go streaking?

Out of the blue, or was it not out of the blue? But to my recollection, I cannot remember Block-Os being a part of carnivals ever! However, this being my first Jamaican Carnival - I MUST attend Frenchmen's Block-O ... their annual event held at Braywick Rd, Jacks Hill. Kingston. So Frenchmen decided once upon a time - Oye, Lets Close Down The Neighbourhood, Barricade The Hell Out Of It ... Put Up Some Fans, high Rise Dj Tent, some Bars, Put some portable toilets in somebody back yard, sell some food from somebody else yard or the same yard and we will call it Frenchmen Block-O! Innovative Huh? I agree ... Daddy Chooks, Frenchie & myself after taking Chooks' advice that we must attend well what more can we do ... "What Chooks Say We Must Do!" ... not all the time. Forget timing on this one because when you tell people get dressed for a certain time ... they don't! Anyhow, arrive how best and whenever you can but do remember events in Jamaica finish at 2:00AM ... or thereabouts ... also known as ... EARLY!!!!! ... Moving along ... I will like to give a special thank you to Alexis and Sara, Love You'll Toooo Bad. Park the vehicle ... and walk ... to event ... or hop yuh lazy behind on a shuttle if you park too far ... Laziness ... or is just those people in some funky high heel shoes ... cyah walk must buy!!!

The focus of any event is to make sure you as a patron enjoy yourself, from start to finish! With no exhaustingly long lines at the entrance and wonderful people at the door greeting you upon your entry - I can safely say that your event at block-o is going to start off quite well! Guaging the venue and its splendor one must pay most attention to what one is standing on ... a road ... and not just a road ... a slightly steep road ... also known as a hill ... so please be careful ... its not for the weak. One has to remember the height factor when wining on a hill as well ... somebody is going to be unnervingly shorter which causes either buttom to belly action or pelvic area to belly action ... either way what ever is your vice ... ensure you take the hill at an angle or you adjust to suit - Scorn's Wining Lesson #1.

The obvious location for a very good time is normally around the DJ booth or tent. With the likes of Alicia D' Duchess, Ricardo Back To Basics & Ryan DJ Smoke on the decks tonight - I, Scorn, guarantee you a fantastic night of music especially when two out of the three are on the decks at the same time! Scorn's Wining Lession #2 - when Alicia D Duchess, Back To Basics or Smoke tells you to find ah buttom or a bamcee ... they mean it because they are going to play a tune that whether you are a man or woman, you are going to shake your batty and wine your waist and bend over like it is that time of the day when certain things are going to take place and you are going enjoy it! One tune this year that has definitely brought us party people together in that dry humping spectacular and vivid mentality of enthusiasm will always be Machel's "Bend Over" - Scorn's anthem for Carnival 2011. Tonight even though it is Carnival Season, why not run some pop and some billboard top 100 songs ... say it with me "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" ... Compared to two years before, I am told that this year the DJs really had the crowd going - this being my first year - I can say that the crowd was going - especially coming down to the last hour or so also known as, the hour alcohol sets in and kicks for goal! One shall not forget the sparadic noise that comes from the beating of Iron and Steel - oh yes - the noise from the rhythm section. Who say there were not patrons beating iron as well ... I think it should be customary standard that there should be a rhythm section, an iron and steel rhythm in every Block-O!

So with the music pumping from the speakers and remarkably coursing through your blood and rushing to your brain and other body parts, humans need to have something to drink so that one's thirst is always quenched. Now what shall we drink is the question on normally every human's mind! However, with a bar that should be well stocked - it should make for an easy decision or some might think not! Prices seemed to be reasonable tonight for the event and I have to point out that the service was definitely impeccable. You had the usual waiting time for a drink - there was not any pushing and shoving and well as god be my witness - I miss the caribbean! the bar tenders were oh so generous in their servings ... this is what I call alcohol heaven. Being a borderline alcoholic is not easy when I go out in Europe ... everything is measured and weighed like if I am buying meat from the Queen's butchers! In the caribbean ... Pour Nah Man! Pour Some More! Wham Girl That Is Too Much! Yuh Trying To Kill Meh Or Wha!!! Give Meh Ah Next Cup!!!! This is life!!! Well a microcosm of happiness! Always remember one must not dance with a full glass of alcohol, because after the bar tender took his time and energy to pour you a full glass of alcohol, why will you waste it wining on a bamcee .... Scorn's Wining Lesson #3!

All I know, Here we go ... Block-O had vibes, not much pipe was sellin', I did not feel to mash up a speaker box, I did however bend over and touch the road or did I? Somewhat cannot remember even though I was not drunk, I still Danced & Dingolayed .. maybe I was missing the Puncheon? Or was it the element of a Kingston Ting?

Verdict (The Scornful Verdict)
... It was Okay ... lacked conviction ...

Hey Mister, where you heading? FICTION!!!!! Pure Dancehall Vibes .... Going To Real Grind Down ....

Scorn Juice
... How to enjoy a Carnival Event for Dummies ...

Did we forget anything? Add your 2 cents below...

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