"Pssst....Hey Ma.....Ttttssssst...Dahlin!"  No, that's not the sound of a tire deflating. That is the sound of the "Male Mating Call" otherwise known as the "Psst and Holla". I know, it sounds like the name of a dancehall move, doesn't it?  Now this move has been around for as long as I can remember and shows no signs of going away.
 
I really don't know why men do this?  Do you really think that we are going to stop what we're doing just because you sound like a ignorant rattlesnake?  Why can't you just walk up to one of us say hello and how are you instead of resorting to lude name calling and baby this and Ma that?  And wha d ras is up with boys calling girls "Ma".  That is the stupidest slang term I have ever heard in my entire short, red life.  Why would I want to be called "Ma" by a man I plan on being with?  The immediate word that pops into my head is....incest.  Call me honey, baby, dahlin, sweetheart, anything but ahem...."Ma". 
 
One day, I was walking home, feeling particularly MAD and a man "psst and holla'd" as I strolled by.  Well, if there's one person you don't mess with, it's a MAD Red Woman.  I turned around and "Psst!" right back at him.  The ignorant rattlesnake stared at me, stunned and taken aback, especially when I started to walk back towards him.  I then went on a tirade and said he had some nerve trying to get a woman's attention like that.  Man was so scared he didn't know what to do...and you all wonder why yuh doh have a gyalfriend, steupppppss. Now don't get me wrong, we have come a long way from being clubbed over the head and dragged into a cave....or have we?
 
To all the men out there, the "Psst and Holla" doesn't work, it only gets women MAD.  One day, you're going to run into a MAD Red/Black/Yellow/White woman and they are going to kick you square in the nutmegs to teach you a lesson.  Now, some women may like this type of behavior, but personally, I would rather get stung by an actual ignorant rattlesnake.

-Mad Red Woman