Happy New Year MAD people!  The time has come my darling Winin Criminals.  Carnival is almost here and like many I can't believe it....more like my body can't believe it.  All those months of "yeah man you have time to work out" has caught up with me and I'm still a gelatinous mess.  In celebration of the New Year I ate my weight in KFCrack and drank myself into a nice well rounded preggers beer belly.  Happy New Year to me.

I guess I can be thankful that I'm not in the Caged Canary section of Tribe and that I will at least have a 2 feathers to cover my bam.  I only pray that it doesn't rain and that the feathers stay on long enough for the day to go dark so I can be concealed.  In any case, it's time to skip dessert and eat only things that are green. Drink bush and water! Do something, because the time is drawing near.  A MAD short woman told me that Tribe is offering extra chainage for those Canaries who need some extra coverage...looks like I'm not the only one who fell off the wuk out truck J

Still I am holding onto my shatter proof solution of whinin off d weight.  I seem to lose at least 5 pounds during Carnival before the road so whoo to the hoo on that.  Beauties and Cuties remember, this works.  After all, we are all on a mostly liquid diet come the Wednesday before Mas, so go Scotch go.  I know I get down the most at my favorite fete; Girl Power.  There is some serious ab workin and waist whinin there so I plan on getting most of my cardio out one time  If all else fails and I'm still shy of my not so ready Carnival bod, all I have to do is take about 5 shots of Scotch right before emerging from my hotel in my costume and I will be good to go.......shoot after 5 shots of Scotch I could be streaking in the middle of winter and I would feel good to go!

So Carnival babies, if yuh shy and not feelin like yuh body is tanty ready, drink tons of Scotch before going on the road. I guarantee that being half neked will be the furthest thing on your mind. 

What will this Carnival bring?  What are your hopes and what fetes are you most looking forward to?


-MAD Red Woman