The trend in schools currently shows that women are outperforming men. In the business place we are seeing more women managers than ever before.  It is indeed a time where strong women are in the leadership role.  There is nothing wrong with this since women make up a large part of society and their contribution can be very much felt.  The challenge that lies ahead is producing great leaders out of men in this information age.

When we look at something classic like partner dancing, the blurring lines tend to really show up more.  It is here in these deep-rooted traditions that men can learn how to be good leaders if women learn how to be good followers.  I think that although women are strong they still want a strong man who can initiate, challenge them, support them as a frame, give them balance and help them enjoy the journey of a dance or of life.  Let a man be a man, let him develop, he will be happy and in turn make you happy.

[1] LISTEN INTENTLY:  listen to both his spoken and unspoken words.  The more you listen, the more he will signal and the more enhanced will be the communication. Be willing to go where he leads you on the dance floor.

[2] ENCOURAGE EXPERIMENTATION:  Men have to figure it out for themselves.  Be patient with them.  Close your eyes and feel the energy in the frame, feel his passion.  I want to thank all the women who I elbowed in the head, twisted and jerked around on the dance floor in the name of learning how to be a better lead.

[3] LISTEN TO THE MUSIC: When he is wrong at least you can still follow the music and feel that emotion when he is failing.  The music will carry you but do not assume what he is going to do next.  Learn patterns to recognize them but do not anticipate them.  As Leaders develop they will start the break the patterns and you got to be ready.

[4] COMPLIMENT: When he does it right, do let him know and this will help his confidence grow in the right direction.  When the pattern is well lead and totally believable let him know.

[5] MAINTAIN TENSION:  This is something my wife told me and it stuck with me.  Imagine a piece of paper between you and your partner.  You want enough tension to not let the paper fall to the floor but you do not want TOO much as to squash the paper.

I hope these tips makes both better followers and better leaders in our community and in turn makes the world a better place.

Stephen Choo Quan