Roast Premium All Inclusive Breakfast Cruise on Sunday 10/9/2016 at 10:00 PM

After having such an amazing time at the Vale breakfast fete, I did not want carnival to end. I was, most definitely, too tired to do the road but still wanting another pump. So, my good friend and mentor Dr. Baz Dreisinger asked me if I was doing the Roast Cruise later on in the evening. I had not planned on it but the Virgin Islands crew that I done mashed up plenty fetes with were going so, I decided to get my ticket.

Now, I don’t really believe in good fetes or bad fetes. I truly believe that the people that you are with and the attitude that you bring to the fete determines the time that you had. With that being said, I had a great time.  I was with my friends and we were all together to attend a fete and not a funeral so I count that as a TREMENDOUS blessing. Fortunately, or unfortunately, my job is to critique fetes in total, not just from my personal experience.

This week my sistren Crista, from the 242 dropped a wonderful review of Miami Carnival on her website. And she referenced a phenomenon that is rarely written about but one that is really talked about in carnival circles and that is the expectation of the tangible and intangible deliverables of a fete per the price point.

Meaning, feters have certain expectations of a fete per the price point of the fete, the marketing and the hosts.  Case in point, we have certain expectations of a fete per the price. And if those expectations are not met, then we are disappointed.

Here’s what I will do. I will list the price point breakdowns and, as you look at them, as a feter, you will AUTOMATICALLY have a fete in mind and what you expect. 
  • $-$30
  • $30-$45
  • $45-$75
  • $75-$100
  • $100-$125
  • $125-$175
  • $175-$250
  • $250-$500
I have attended fetes in each one of those price points and I can tell you what the sweet spot for most feters is $75-100. But that is the ULTIMATE THRESHOLD where they will tolerate something not being all-inclusive.  Once you hit the over $100 price point, not only is the expectation all inclusive but the expression is for you to have excellent service and a quality experience.

I will revisit this discussion later in a video post.  But for now…. let’s talk about Roast.

Roast Premium All Inclusive?

The Roast cruise which was held on the 9th of October was in the $100-$125 price range for me. I actually purchased my ticket at $121.   And to the people who are reading this and saying, “You actually pay for your tickets? Don’t you work for TriniJungleJuice?”  I will answer you and say, “Yes. I do. And I buy my tickets 90% of the time because the ticket buying experience is a part of the whole process. And If I don’t experience that same experience of the feter, then I miss a very integral part of the process. Which I will, most definitely, cover in my Soca Brainwash review.

The ticket purchasing process for the Roast cruise was smooth and very mobile friendly. I was able to procure my ticket the day of the event.

The cruise began with the arrival of all persons to 3555 S Ocean Drive Hollywood, FL 33019 in order to board the "South Beach Lady” yacht.

Let’s be clear…. THE BOAT WAS NICE.

The setup was impeccable.

The bathrooms pristine. There were more than enough bathrooms for the patrons, if you wanted to walk a few floors to get to an open restroom without a wait as I did. 

The dinner was good but…… IT WAS NOT “PREMIUM” All Inclusive. I didn’t realize that I was going to be rationed on my food. If there is one pet peeve that I have in life it is when my portion of food is being rationed. I’m far from a pig but I’m also not a 6 year old.  I does need my protein and I doh really do a lot of rice and bread.  After I had a serving of food, I asked for another piece of meat and was declined.  No big deal, but at $120 PLUS the $20 for parking…. I really don’t wanna hear that sh*t.  Especially after all the stress that we all had to deal with during the Hurricane Matthew situation.  But after being denied, about 10 minutes later the server walked a plate around to me, which made me even more upset because he acted like he was doing me a favor. Like he was putting some food in a container for me to go home with as if I was working the night shift in the kitchen. 

So, that was my dinner experience.

Then we went up to the top level to fete.

The Fete

On a scale from 1 to 10, the fete in and of itself was a 7. At the end the day, it was a fete with beautiful people in it who had the mindset that they were going to have a good time, no matter what. But make no mistake about it, the Roast Cruise did NOT deliver on the vibes and the good times which were expected……AT THE PRICE POINT for which they required purchase. 

LIKE I SAID…… it wasn’t a BAD fete, it just did NOT meet the expectations per the price point. Even the resale of tickets in the "DM market” were at a $85 to $100 price point.

Will I Do Roast

Will I do Roast again? 


Here’s what I understand. I understand that, most likely, they had to switch up their menu from a breakfast menu to a dinner menu. I also understand that their sales were really good and that they probably upgraded to bigger boat and then had to change their date and schedule because of the hurricane and didn’t have as many patrons as they expected.  The vibes which are available during a daytime fete are different from the night and the deliverability of their product really was switched up and hampered from the weather and conditions and they made lemonade out of lemons. I run a business and I understand that and I can dig it. 

However, I can only write about my experiences. And I didn’t necessarily enjoy myself. I had a great time with my friends, but the Roast cruise, may have been partially all-inlcusive but it was far from “premium.”

And I WILL give them a try again. I found the presentation to be professional from the ticket buying process, to the online follow up messages to the presentation of the yacht.  It’s just that the vibes were paltry and the DJs did not social engineer the party as one would expect in a fete during Miami Carnival weekend. 

What I Learned

There was a moment during the fete when I was critiquing the fete and I looked around and saw Dr. Baz with her face turned toward the front of the ship, sitting down near the ledge with her eyes closed. It wasn't for a long time, but it wasn't a fleeting moment either. It was a moment that I wish I would have been able to capture on video or in a still photo. It was here where I learned another element to the process of fetting. There's a moment where you take it "all in." Where you sit back and take in everything that you can see. And then there's a moment where you GO "all-in." A moment where you allow yourself and your soul to get carried about with each note of the song, each beat of the rhythm, each voice filled with laughter and each and every stimuli that affects your person and you make a conscience decision to BE HAPPY and content.

As a critic of fetes and experiences, I still have much to learn. I read what Dr. Baz writes and what she says about writing because she is a personal mentor but I also watch her and as I said before. The MAIN reason that I went on the Roast cruise is because she told me to. And the lesson that I got that night, as an academic, was worth the price.... quite honestly.


During an all-inclusive fete, its cool to keep some food out. Like cookies, fruit, finger sandwiches or something like that. What I really enjoy about the Vale Breakfast fete is that the food is available for the WHOLE FETE.  For a Premium all-inclusive fete this should be an option or there should, at least, be some food available during the evening. I do understand that a dinner menu is more expensive than a breakfast menu and things changed for Roast due to the weather and for that I am more than willing to try a fete with them again. For sure.

I would also recommend using a different set of DJs or at least sitting down and planning the fete a little bit better.  I can’t tell you how pissed people were during the last 10 minutes of the fete when hip hop music was being played. That is not the way that you want you patrons leaving a boat ride where they have come for soca music.


The Roast Premium All Inclusive Cruise most definitely did NOT deliver per the hype. But, I still had a good time with my friends because my friends are a good time. And I got to see Dr. Baz Dreisinger, who is featured on the Netflix Documentary “13” and anytime I can see Dr. Dreisinger, I just feel better about my life.

Next up……… The Vale Breakfast Fete Recap.