This Message Has Been Brought
To You By The ONLY Book Endorsed
By TriniJungleJuice and MyCarnivalBands

As the resident "Carnival Doctor" and the author of The Ultimate Road Ready Guide which is the "go-to" guide for all Carnival Virgins and Veterans, I can honestly tell you that I learn more and more about Carnival each and every time I go.

In 2012 I learned that women could pee while standing up.

This is how it happened.....

So...... There I was on the road with a sudden urge to go pee. (I know I should use urinate but writing "pee" just seems like the right thing to do. And if I write it twice, it makes me laugh. See..... "pee-pee."  You probably just laughed too. LOL!)

So........ As I said, there I was on the road with a sudden urge to whip out my pee-pee and go pee.  Now, this was during Jouvert. So there were no special port-a-potty trucks, there were no bathrooms and there was no where to go but to the bushes, to go and pee.

And, therefore, I did what all men do. That is, I looked for some bushes in order to hide my pee-pee so that it wouldn't be exposed while I pee.  And as I went to de bushes, to go and pee, it never dawned on my to look to the left or right because I just assumed that there were other men around me who were just peeing.

And I follow the man rules at all times while peeing. 

Well, there are 2 rules.

Rule Number One is - while peeing, you look straight ahead. Rule Number Two is, if you do not follow rule Number One and you want to acknowledge the person next to you -- you CAN make eye contact and provide a brief upward head nod. (Note, the upward head nod, NOT the downward head nod that you do on the street, but the upward head nod that you do at a urinal or while peeing in the bushes. Such details are uber important.)

These are the unwritten rules of peeing, but ALL MEN KNOW THEM.

Trust me.  Because if you look down - there is trouble in de place!!!

So, there I was peeing and I was looking forward and then for a brief moment, I looked to the right and I made eye contact with someone who did not look like a man. Then I looked down, in violation of the rule, and saw that this "man" had breasts and THEN I violated EVERY rule and looked down. 

And to my surprise.......I did not a see a pee-pee!! 

I saw some long thing sticking out!

And then, she of course then violated the rules too but she had no rules to follow, as she was not in the "club."  And I'm not sure if she saw my pee-pee or not but I can say that I felt violated. LOL!

So, after a moment....okay, a few seconds of being uncomfortable. I finished and she finished and before she could run off, I asked her the most beautiful words that you can hear after being in the bushes and peeing. 

I asked her...... "Would you like some hand sanitizer?"

To which she replied, after putting away her device, "Yes. Thanks."

So I squirted some of my sanitizer in her hands and and asked, "How did you pee standing up?"  And she replied, "It's a female urination device." And then she ran off into the Jouvert abyss.

So, to all the vets who think there's
nothing to learn now hear this!

FUDs - Female Urination Devices


STP - Stand To Pee devices

.... are sold and available online. They actually allow women to urinate (now we'll use the word urinate) with a level of privacy, dignity, safety, and cleanliness. No more squatting down and worrying about bugs or sitting down on nasty toilets or worrying about your garments touching the floor. That is now remedied and fixed. And you can thank The Carnival Doctor for that one.

One of the biggest complaints that I heard from women was that, they cannot drink as much as they want during Jouvert because going the the restroom is a problem. Well, now that is fixed.

All you have to do is go on to Google and do a search and find a device and use it. Here's what I recommend. I recommend buying 2 or 3 of them, different brands, different types. If the first one works fine, then great -- you can give the other ones to some friends. If the first one does not work that well, then you can test the other two to make sure that you have one that works for you.

Just so that you know. My wife carried one when she was on the road in TNT.  She did not have to use it because she never got into a situation where she had to but she did test her device out at home before leaving and it worked fine.

So, just so that you know..... Women, you can most certainly PEE while standing up. 

I've seen it for myself.